Yeah hi.
I don't know why but i'm in a really bad mood. It kind of hit me a couple of hours ago and won't go away, which is weird because I had a really good day today! I had a photo shoot to get my headshots done which was really fun and then I snuck into the year 9 drama class and hid behind the curtains and played fart noises on my phone.
I guess it all started after that when Ms A was a bit pissy, and then it was so hot, and then I didn't go for a run, and then I found out that people were having a bit of a bitch about me, and then dad was getting pissy for no reason and then I got bored and now I have a nervous sick feeling. I'm probably getting my period.
Next week I have work experience and I have to say i'm pretty keen! and then we perform Macbeth (a little worrying considering the state it's in at the moment) and then after that I have formal and then after that Deccas, Simon and some other peeps and I are going to see Cate Blanchett at a Q&A thing. So that's fun!
Ugh I have the worst sick nervous feeling! It won't go away and i'm sorry to anyone who is reading this because this is not a fun thing to read but I kind of just had to type it away a little bit.
To perk it up a little bit, check these out, they were one of the few things that made me smile today:
- I DON'T TAKE CREDIT- I STOLE THESE FROM KATY FAURE'S BLOG.
I am so bad at this blog business but I mean let's be honest... no one reads this shit anyway and well, now that I have no pictures, it just isn't the same... and I REFUSE to start again so I apologise.
So not long now until Macbeth is on, or formal, or work experience and tomorrow I begin the school certificate (most important test of our schooling lives...) So I just thought i'd update you on life and love.
I've had another audition since we last spoke, which was a bit of fun and I have a couple coming up as well, one for a movie and one for a kids show. YEEWW.
I now have a date for formal, Jem and I are going to write a book together, I got in to the shore musical, I am really sunburnt, I've gashed the balls out of my leg by running into stairs (who does that), CHRISTINA GOT OUT OF XFACTOR WHICH I AM NOT HAPPY ABOUT and I LOST 3 KILOS! And then put one back on... ggrrrr888.
I guess i should include some titties now, considering the title got you all excited... Whether they're female or not, real or not it shouldn't matter- INCOMING CHEST FRUIT!
SORRY DECLAN! DON'T HATE ME!
Don't be fooled... I'm flat, those bad boys took an ultra push up bra AND chicken fillets AND makeup.
Oh what fun. So that was a bit embarrassing but I really have no other photos right now so ya know... I'm off to go practice da script. I have to be a rape victim (BIG WOOTS THAT I'VE PLAYED AN ABUSE VICTIM BEFORE!!)
So the reason i haven't been able to post for AGES is because my laptop's hard drive decided to FAIL.
So i've been waiting for that to get fixed, because it's more fun when you can include pictures and stuff you know? ANYWAY SO TURNS OUT I'VE LOST EVERYTHING ON MY LAPTOP!!! Legit everything is gone, all my pictures, videos, music, documents EVERYTHING. I know it sounds like an overreaction but i feel like so much of my life is gone! I mean everything in my computer.... that was like a document of my life since like year 5! I'm so upset! It makes me feel sick.
So friends, a word of the wise, BACK UP YOUR HARD DRIVES! LIKE, RIGHT NOW! It will save you so much stress and devastation. eeehhhhh so we start again. afresh, KILL ME.
I totally first off put this title as "weekend in a nutshell" but no motherfucker it's fucking Wednesday... HOW?!?!?!
Shoooo I have a full day of Macbeth rehearsals tomorrow (big woots over here) But i am freaking my balls off because I am not going to be able to study and I am so behind and I haven't finished notes for any subject except french (I EFFING HATE THAT LANGUAGE) and to make matters even greater, I have misplaced my drama book... yay life.
Last night I slept over at Katy Faure's. She is a fine, fine piece of arse. In 24 hours we managed to:
- Watch three scary movies as well asAngus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging
- Devour a packet of pods, mnms, cookies, marshmallows (jokes that was only me), a gelato and a chocolate croissant. Needless to say, I went for a HUGE run this afternoon!
- Sent various inappropriate messages to people
- Watched our drama teacher say "fuck" and then die.
- slept from 3:20 am to 11:30 pm (YES!)
And various other splendid activities
She has an incredibly impressive Harry Potter collection
From Left to right: Snape Figurine, Hedwig Toy, HOGWARTS ROBE SNUGGIE!!!!!, T-shirt
And there were plenty more where they came from!
So Katy decided to get Frisky on my phone... WITH SOME MIGHTY FUNNY RESULTS FROM ONE PERSON IN PARTICULAR (stupid fuck)
To a certain fuckwit
THE REPLY! HAHAHAHAHA WHAT A HEAD
To the bro...
To Henry Badgery (still no reply...)
Alex Langlands- how i love you
Dis bitch is possibly the love of my life. ILAY KATY YOU DOME BITCH.
SOOOOOO! I'm a happy little vegemite today, something rather lovely happened! I GOT SIGNED TO AN ELITE ACTING AGENCY. I honestly thought that they wouldn't sign me in a million YEARS but we got the email today and she said yes! So I am so excited right now! The people that are signed with her all have so much experience and training and I really thought that I wasn't up to that kind of caliber so i'm totally flattered that she wants to represent me.
The next step is getting some photos done... how nice and awkward. I'd rather just do more photos with Harriet, she was nice and pro at them, but no. I've got to pay to get some studio ones done. wagflhdfsguhstghsprth i'm so happy. I know that nothing is going to happen but still, it's been a long time that i've been talking about agents with my family so the fact that it finally happened is rather lovely :)
I feel bad because my drama teacher was helping me find one and was going to talk to people that she knows for me but then this happened... So i don't know what to do I think I will have to talk to her... But it's holidays so not really great timing...
Not going to think about that right now, I am too happy, i'll cross that bridge when i come to it!
Ilay bitchez, I'm staying at Katy Faure's house tomorrow night HELLZ YEAH. Check out her blog here http://lippykids.blogspot.com/ she's da biggest babe EVAR.
So just a quickie, yesterday I saw the new Australian move "Red Dog". It is ABSOLUTELY fantastic you all need to get your bums off to the cinema and go see it. I laughed and cried (bawled actually) and I want to go see it again. The characters are all SUCH a classic and just really raw, outback Australian. The lead girl "Rachael Taylor" is like, the hottest thing ever and oh my god. It was amazing.
For this drama performance I played this girl who was being beaten up by her boyfriend. I found it incredibly difficult to say the least, most likely because i HAVEN'T been abused but long story short I over thought it, psyched myself out and freaked out. But there are very few times when I don't push the line a bit too far... and on this case i decided that i wanted REAL bruises. Because I had no one who would willingly bash me (or maybe there were but none that were willing to put their hands up) I had to option up for plan B.
HICKIES!
I thought i was rather smart, they do LOOK like bruises and with a bit of makeup here and there (credit to Harriet Scriven once again) they made their impact... Needless to say I tried to avoid my drama teacher... but turns out she kind of liked them.
So I had one main gal pal sucking away. IT HURT. But she's a bloody legend and I am very impressed with her skills and the poor thing's lips swelled. I still need to buy her chocolate for that actually...
So yeah a nice little lesbian session later and i was all bruised up. I had a couple more takers later on but this one girl did most of the dirty work. Here were the finished results:
Oh dear... Seriously what next. It was great being able to freak out a couple of teachers here and there.
This habit of late night posting is really not going to do me much good in the morning, but i'm kind of beginning to enjoy this blogging stuff! Okay, so besides Bones, my numero uno favourite show is
"The Nanny" with Fran Drescher. HOLY JESUS. THAT WOMAN IS A GOD.
Not Even slightly kidding, she has the BEST body. Like, her body is the reason that i want abs. She's totally beautiful, hysterically funny, loves food, came up with the whole friggen show, writes, directs and stars in it. NOT TO MENTION HER VOICE IS ABSOLUTE GOLDEN. I'm OBSESSED with the New York accent, but her's is even better cause it's Flushing, Queens and mixed with her outrageous nasal quality it's just an absolute classic. So she plays this nanny, who was kind of taken off the street by accident when she was selling makeup at people's doors and ended up basically saving this family by adding a bit of colour into their lives. It's HYSTERICAL, i've laughed and cried with this show over and over again.
One of the show's MAJOR attractions is the undeniable sexual tension between this incredibly hot nanny "Fran Fine" who struts around in tiny skirts and tops and her boss, a widower called Mr Sheffield who is a rather proper englishman and a theatre producer. You literally DIE every time they have a little moment or almost kiss, and then they kiss every now again but not for romantic reasons, like to prove a point or something and i swear to god i could have fallen off my seat every bloody time. They end up almost dying and Mr Sheffield tells Fran he loves her, but then takes it back because of his fear for the children.
So you'd think with this incredibly flashy woman hanging around there wouldn't be a lot of room for others to stand out. WELL YOU'RE WRONG. In fact, the supporting cast absolutely MAKE the show. Niles, the Butler, also English and a total gossip is an absolute riot as he goes crazy trying to make Max realise his feelings for Fran. While C.C Babcock, Max's business partner who is totally in love with him, does everything she can to get Nanny Fine fired and win over Mr Sheffield. Pretty much everyone hates her but Niles does everything in his power to make sure her life is MISERABLE. Which is kind of cayute because the two of them (of course) end up falling in love with each other.
Some of Nile's best verbal attacks include:
C.C.: I wouldn't be caught dead in that dress. Niles: You'd have to be dead six months to fit in it.
C.C.: I couldn't put a foot out of bed this morning. Niles: Did someone put a rock on your coffin again?
Niles: Oh, what are you doing here, the sun is up.
C.C.: I'll never get to the airport on time. Niles: That's true, sir, she needs at least two people on her broom to use the Express Lane.
C.C.: You are a pathetic excuse for a man. Niles: Ditto!
C.C.: I find it very unseemly of Maxwell to start dating again. Isn't the customary period of mourning 10 years? Niles: Die. Let's find out.
C.C.: Seriously, Niles, where do you keep all that cash? Niles: Someplace you'll never get near. C.C.: Oh, your mattress. Niles: No.
[pointing at Mr. Sheffield] Niles: His.
C.C.: [Max is hiring a female to promote him] Maxwell, I want a man! Niles: The last one deflated when she nibbled at his ear.
C.C.: [to Niles] Don't you have something to dust? Niles: How about the left side of your bed?
Okay so I am getting really carried away here but I am having so much fun right now
A pretty fugly snapshot of Harriet and I just before this drama night last year and for my character, I had based her off a mix between Fran Fine (looks wise) and her mother, Sylvia Fine (personality wise). My god it was so much fun, I watched over 40 videos on how to do a New York dialect. Harriet being the styling guru that she is did my hair for me, and my hair is EFFING THICK, so we got some nice volume going on in there as well!
Oh dear lord. All the Fine women. Sylvia, Fran's mother is in the middle and she is this self-centred, outrageous woman who has an appetite of a horse and who wants nothing more than to see Fran get married. Yetta on the right is Fran's grandmother, blind as a bat and usually dumb as fuck. I wish i actually knew all three of them the three of them are just absolute GOLD. Their characters are all incredibly Jewish (though Sylvia still eats bacon on the sly) and by watching the show you pick up on their yiddish words
Jackie's Yiddish Language Lesson
Mishpucha = Family
Mishegas = Craziness/Insanity
A "Nosh"= A light snack
Shlep (a personal favourite) = to trek/drag
Schmuck = A fool
Shmutz = dirt/grime
Tuches (pronounced Took-uhs) = Bum
Yente (pronounced yentAH) = gossip
And yeah so i'm done. Wow that will be a trek of a post to read, not that anyone will be bothered but hey, I enjoyed myself. And I leave you now with a nice bit of the Nanny for your personal enjoyment
ACTUALLY WATCH THIS IT'S THE ENTERTAINING PART OF THE POST:
This post probably should have been my first... before Katy Perry even (I know I can't believe I just said that either) but it is most important that I tell you about one of the most breathtakingly incredible human beings you will ever meet in your life. Her name is Harriet Scriven and she has been my best friend since like year 5 and sometimes I wonder how I ever functioned without her.
She is legitimately a goddess... Incredibly beautiful, smart, funny, lovely and all round amazing human being. It kind of sucks being around her though because then you have to be compared with her and trust me, that's never fun... being compared with Jesus... it's a difficult task.
Harriet is literally good at everything (another irritatingly perfect fact about her) she is SO smart, SO good at sport AMAZINGOSDHGOS;GHU AT SINGING and everybody loves her. No effing wonder- I already told you, she's god!
A couple of rockin' facts about Harriet
She has no middle name (we gave her one in year five- "Apple")
Her cat is a horny little fuck
I once dacked her in front of the entire school assembly
Her obsessions include Darren Criss, Cody Simpson and Harry Potter
She HATES tomato, avocado and vegemite
She injures herself ALOT (that, we have in common)
She gets to fly first class for free until she's like 24 or something ridiculous
She can't roll her "r's"
SHE NEVER BLOODY STOPS SINGING/HUMMING
She can automatically harmonise with any song it's quite amazing
She sucks shit at watching scary movies
I've never known someone to be so oblivious to Hollywood/celebrities. She didn't know who Brad Pitt was!!!!
SHE IS INCREDIBLE AT MAKEUP HOLY CHRIST
We're very different in some areas, for example she's such a goody-goody and i am definitely NOT and she always has a reaaalllyyy clean room and i often can't see my floor, she loves a lot of "alty" bands and boy bands and stuff, whereas you'll see me rockin out to Jazmine Sullivan, Monica KATY PERRY, Beyonce, Amy Winehouse- but we have an almost identical sense of humour and i love all her clothes and we love all the same movies and tv shows and we're both sporty people. I just bloody love this woman. So proud to call her my best friend.
Looking back through some photos we took with the little girl I babysit and her friend, I realise how much i don't want to grow up, I was CONSTANTLY making up games with my toys, friends, sometimes just by myself and it's pretty clear how nothing has changed... It sucks that when you're young you can't wait to be grown up, but once you're expected to act mature, you realise how much youth really is a virtue not to be wasted...
Some people go for the bright blue eyes, others for a dashingly good smile and plenty for the good old eight pack. I'm sorry, maybe i'm retarded but to me there is nothing more beautiful in this world than a person with a strong, chiseled jawline. Boy or girl, doesn't matter i'll be frothing over anyone who has a good jaw. It's like... sometimes we'll be watching a movie and i'll miss the entire fucking thing because i've spent majority of the time staring/crying/jizzing over one person or another's jawline! It's ridiculous!
EMILY DESCHANEL IS LIKE MY LIIFFFEE OH DEAR GOD. She is Bones, on my absolute FAAAVEEE show "Bones" and I am sure to post more about her in the future but for now. DAYUM seriously check out her jawline it is magnificent.
HOLY CHRIST. Okay Kiera Knightly is a PRIME example of one of those people in movies where you miss the movie because you're too busy frothing over her facial bones. "Pride and Prejudice" ESPECIALLY and that other new one of hers "Never Let Me Go". I am usually such a cry-er in movies (i cried in fucking "Herbie Fully Loaded" with Lindsay Lohan to give you an idea). This woman has amazing bone structure in general, not only her jawline but her collar bones and cheek bones are also KILLER.
Okay so i'm not some annoying twi-hard (anymore...) but no one can deny that Robert Pattinson has the most delectable jaw on the face of the planet. I have never wanted to touch something so bad in my life. I swear to god i could dream about it. It's bloody perfect and it makes him soooooo bloody attractive i don't care if he fucking sparkles.
He totally gets two photos his jaw is that good.
So like you know, she's one of the most beautiful people in the world, has what... six sprouter children? Her husband is such a dilf, she's rich as FUCK but hey knowing me, i'm most jealous of her jawline. Of course. It;s just beautiful. GAH.
So we did a production at school of the all famous musical "Grease" and my god it was the highlight of my year. Majority of days i will remember something from the whole experience and want to laugh and cry at the same time. I was Rizzo, which is always fun, playing the slutty bitch who got motor boated on stage- you know the usual ;)
So if you know me, you'd know that probably my strongest passion in life, above Katy Perry even is acting. I was that annoying child who when the parents brought friends over i would sit them all down and perform for them. I guess i've enjoyed that kind of "spotlight" attention and it's just grown into a love of the arts. I don't really like talking about it because I feel so judged whenever someone asks me what i want to do and i reply with "be an actress". The amount of times i've gotten a lecture or the look of "yeah right good luck with that sweetheart" is COUNTLESS. But you know what, it's easier to type than to say out loud to people.
I totally have the most rockin drama teacher, she's such a babe and is pretty much famous even though she says she isn't. I look up to her a lot and the good thing is, is that she's one of the only role models in my life that i KNOW instead of just some random person in the media. We get along quite splendidly and she's helping me to move forward with acting which is MUCH appreciated.
I don't want to act to "become famous" or "move to LA" that isn't what it's about for me at all. The art itself is something that i am passionate about and those stupid bitches that just want to be famous are the most annoying things in the world.
This post isn't riveting in photos or anything but it's just a slice of my life that i felt like i had to get down ya know? Okay rock on guys,
I'm already so shit at keeping up with this whole blogging business. To be fair, i only just got my laptop back which is going to make life a WHOLE lot easier. It's currently 12:26 in the morning and you know why not just have a casual blog? Though... i have nothing REAALLLYY exciting to talk about. So we can recap on life i guess.
In the last week and a bit I have:
Held three more vomiting girls' hair
Bought a shitload of makeup (Harriet's fault)
Seen two friends off to hospital (They have the same name which is a little odd)
Been first of all really impressed and then disappointed with starbucks
Seen an actor burp on stage, mid-line
Attempted to take photos to send off to an agent
WOOHOO LIFE ROCKS.
Okay so this is Holiday in the above. She's such a babe and i actually love her so much. I am sure i will do a big post on all my friends later on but this is just us being cayute for shits and gigs.
Simonita's birthday wooooooot
And this little chika is my bestest friend in the entire world- Harriet Scriven. Don't you worry you are sure to see a WHOLE lot of her as there isn't a lot of things that we don't do together nor are there a lot of times that we spend apart. She's totally rockin and i love her. (Note the bruises on my arm. That's a whole other story that i shall explore later on.) Ilyz.
So I think to properly set off this blog, there would be no other way more appropriate than to have it dedicated to a declaration of my undying, unconditional, unparalleled love for none other than the all famous Katherine Elizabeth Hudson. These days more commonly known as Katy Perry.
Fave photo EVAR.
You know, cause we all look hot with pink hair.
Babe.
She's just a bloody goddess in every single possible way and i'm legitimately obsessed. I totally "met" her as well. Sort of... But that's another story that I shall whip out as soon as i get my laptop back!
Katy Perry is a babe because:
She's a fucking talented lady!
She is totally bangable
Her talking voice is like honey
She's a down to earth chick despite being ridiculously famous
Russell Brand has tapped that
Her tits are like... out of this world!
She's a lol
She hugged me twice and told me she loved me
But as i said... that's another story! Long story short, GET THE FUCK OUT if you have a bad word to say against my god. (I totally just wrote "bod" then by accident). Rock on guys.
So i'm Jackie- 16 years old and a little exhausting ball of emotion.
So i guess this whole blog thing is probably a good idea then... No promises that anything I post on here will make total sense, nor will most of it have huge relevance. Not that i'm expecting people to actually read this thing, but I suppose it's nice to have somewhere to just get down what you normally couldn't say out loud you know?
I tried the whole tumblr thing and HATED it. So I guess that what brings me here! Blog round 2!
Hey guys :)
