FML

So the reason i haven't been able to post for AGES is because my laptop's hard drive decided to FAIL.
So i've been waiting for that to get fixed, because it's more fun when you can include pictures and stuff you know? ANYWAY SO TURNS OUT I'VE LOST EVERYTHING ON MY LAPTOP!!! Legit everything is gone, all my pictures, videos, music, documents EVERYTHING. I know it sounds like an overreaction but i feel like so much of my life is gone! I mean everything in my computer.... that was like a document of my life since like year 5! I'm so upset! It makes me feel sick.
So friends, a word of the wise, BACK UP YOUR HARD DRIVES! LIKE, RIGHT NOW! It will save you so much stress and devastation. eeehhhhh so we start again. afresh, KILL ME.

Updates in a nutshell

I totally first off put this title as "weekend in a nutshell" but no motherfucker it's fucking Wednesday... HOW?!?!?! 

Shoooo I have a full day of Macbeth rehearsals tomorrow (big woots over here) But i am freaking my balls off because I am not going to be able to study and I am so behind and I haven't finished notes for any subject except french (I EFFING HATE THAT LANGUAGE) and to make matters even greater, I have misplaced my drama book... yay life. 

Last night I slept over at Katy Faure's. She is a fine, fine piece of arse. In 24 hours we managed to:

- Watch three scary movies as well asAngus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging

- Devour a packet of pods, mnms, cookies, marshmallows (jokes that was only me), a gelato and a chocolate croissant. Needless to say, I went for a HUGE run this afternoon!

- Sent various inappropriate messages to people

- Watched our drama teacher say "fuck" and then die. 

- slept from 3:20 am to 11:30 pm (YES!)

And various other splendid activities

She has an incredibly impressive Harry Potter collection

From Left to right: Snape Figurine, Hedwig Toy, HOGWARTS ROBE SNUGGIE!!!!!, T-shirt

And there were plenty more where they came from!

So Katy decided to get Frisky on my phone... WITH SOME MIGHTY FUNNY RESULTS FROM ONE PERSON IN PARTICULAR (stupid fuck) 

To a certain fuckwit

THE REPLY! HAHAHAHAHA WHAT A HEAD

To the bro...

To Henry Badgery (still no reply...)

Alex Langlands- how i love you

Dis bitch is possibly the love of my life. ILAY KATY YOU DOME BITCH.

News News News

SOOOOOO! I'm a happy little vegemite today, something rather lovely happened! I GOT SIGNED TO AN ELITE ACTING AGENCY. I honestly thought that they wouldn't sign me in a million YEARS but we got the email today and she said yes! So I am so excited right now! The people that are signed with her all have so much experience and training and I really thought that I wasn't up to that kind of caliber so i'm totally flattered that she wants to represent me.
The next step is getting some photos done... how nice and awkward. I'd rather just do more photos with Harriet, she was nice and pro at them, but no. I've got to pay to get some studio ones done. wagflhdfsguhstghsprth i'm so happy. I know that nothing is going to happen but still, it's been a long time that i've been talking about agents with my family so the fact that it finally happened is rather lovely :)
I feel bad because my drama teacher was helping me find one and was going to talk to people that she knows for me but then this happened... So i don't know what to do I think I will have to talk to her... But it's holidays so not really great timing...
Not going to think about that right now, I am too happy, i'll cross that bridge when i come to it!

Ilay bitchez, I'm staying at Katy Faure's house tomorrow night HELLZ YEAH. Check out her blog here http://lippykids.blogspot.com/ she's da biggest babe EVAR.

RED DOG

So just a quickie, yesterday I saw the new Australian move "Red Dog". It is ABSOLUTELY fantastic you all need to get your bums off to the cinema and go see it. I laughed and cried (bawled actually) and I want to go see it again. The characters are all SUCH a classic and just really raw, outback Australian. The lead girl "Rachael Taylor" is like, the hottest thing ever and oh my god. It was amazing.

Peace out bitchez.

Can't say i'm not dedicated...

For this drama performance I played this girl who was being beaten up by her boyfriend. I found it incredibly difficult to say the least, most likely because i HAVEN'T been abused but long story short I over thought it, psyched myself out and freaked out. But there are very few times when I don't push the line a bit too far... and on this case i decided that i wanted REAL bruises. Because I had no one who would willingly bash me (or maybe there were but none that were willing to put their hands up) I had to option up for plan B.
HICKIES!

I thought i was rather smart, they do LOOK like bruises and with a bit of makeup here and there (credit to Harriet Scriven once again) they made their impact... Needless to say I tried to avoid my drama teacher... but turns out she kind of liked them.
So I had one main gal pal sucking away. IT HURT. But she's a bloody legend and I am very impressed with her skills and the poor thing's lips swelled. I still need to buy her chocolate for that actually...

So yeah a nice little lesbian session later and i was all bruised up. I had a couple more takers later on but this one girl did most of the dirty work. Here were the finished results:

Oh dear... Seriously what next. It was great being able to freak out a couple of teachers here and there. 

Oh my, the things i do for drama <3

The Nanny

This habit of late night posting is really not going to do me much good in the morning, but i'm kind of beginning to enjoy this blogging stuff! Okay, so besides Bones, my numero uno favourite show is
"The Nanny" with Fran Drescher. HOLY JESUS. THAT WOMAN IS A GOD.

Not Even slightly kidding, she has the BEST body. Like, her body is the reason that i want abs. She's totally beautiful, hysterically funny, loves food, came up with the whole friggen show, writes, directs and stars in it. NOT TO MENTION HER VOICE IS ABSOLUTE GOLDEN. I'm OBSESSED with the New York accent, but her's is even better cause it's Flushing, Queens and mixed with her outrageous nasal quality it's just an absolute classic. So she plays this nanny, who was kind of taken off the street by accident when she was selling makeup at people's doors and ended up basically saving this family by adding a bit of colour into their lives. It's HYSTERICAL, i've laughed and cried with this show over and over again.

One of the show's MAJOR attractions is the undeniable sexual tension between this incredibly hot nanny "Fran Fine" who struts around in tiny skirts and tops and her boss, a widower called Mr Sheffield who is a rather proper englishman and a theatre producer. You literally DIE every time they have a little moment or almost kiss, and then they kiss every now again but not for romantic reasons, like to prove a point or something and i swear to god i could have fallen off my seat every bloody time. They end up almost dying and Mr Sheffield tells Fran he loves her, but then takes it back because of his fear for the children.

So you'd think with this incredibly flashy woman hanging around there wouldn't be a lot of room for others to stand out. WELL YOU'RE WRONG. In fact, the supporting cast absolutely MAKE the show. Niles, the Butler, also English and a total gossip is an absolute riot as he goes crazy trying to make Max realise his feelings for Fran. While C.C Babcock, Max's business partner who is totally in love with him, does everything she can to get Nanny Fine fired and win over Mr Sheffield. Pretty much everyone hates her but Niles does everything in his power to make sure her life is MISERABLE. Which is kind of cayute because the two of them (of course) end up falling in love with each other. 

Some of Nile's best verbal attacks include:

• C.C.: I wouldn't be caught dead in that dress.
  Niles: You'd have to be dead six months to fit in it. 
• C.C.: I couldn't put a foot out of bed this morning.
  Niles: Did someone put a rock on your coffin again? 
• Niles: Oh, what are you doing here, the sun is up. 
• C.C.: I'll never get to the airport on time.
  Niles: That's true, sir, she needs at least two people on her broom to use the Express Lane. 
• C.C.: You are a pathetic excuse for a man.
  Niles: Ditto! 
• C.C.: I find it very unseemly of Maxwell to start dating again. Isn't the customary period of mourning 10 years?
  Niles: Die. Let's find out. 
• C.C.: Seriously, Niles, where do you keep all that cash?
  Niles: Someplace you'll never get near.
  C.C.: Oh, your mattress.
  Niles: No.
  [pointing at Mr. Sheffield]
  Niles: His. 
• C.C.: [Max is hiring a female to promote him] Maxwell, I want a man!
  Niles: The last one deflated when she nibbled at his ear. 
• C.C.: [to Niles] Don't you have something to dust?
  Niles: How about the left side of your bed? 

 Okay so I am getting really carried away here but I am having so much fun right now

A pretty fugly snapshot of Harriet and I just before this drama night last year and for my character, I had based her off a mix between Fran Fine (looks wise) and her mother, Sylvia Fine (personality wise). My god it was so much fun, I watched over 40 videos on how to do a New York dialect. Harriet being the styling guru that she is did my hair for me, and my hair is EFFING THICK, so we got some nice volume going on in there as well!

Oh dear lord. All the Fine women. Sylvia, Fran's mother is in the middle and she is this self-centred, outrageous woman who has an appetite of a horse and who wants nothing more than to see Fran get married. Yetta on the right is Fran's grandmother, blind as a bat and usually dumb as fuck. I wish i actually knew all three of them the three of them are just absolute GOLD. Their characters are all incredibly Jewish (though Sylvia still eats bacon on the sly) and by watching the show you pick up on their yiddish words

Jackie's Yiddish Language Lesson

• Mishpucha = Family
• Mishegas = Craziness/Insanity
• A "Nosh"= A light snack
• Shlep (a personal favourite) = to trek/drag
• Schmuck = A fool
• Shmutz = dirt/grime
• Tuches (pronounced Took-uhs) = Bum
• Yente (pronounced yentAH) = gossip

And yeah so i'm done. Wow that will be a trek of a post to read, not that anyone will be bothered but hey, I enjoyed myself. And I leave you now with a nice bit of the Nanny for your personal enjoyment

ACTUALLY WATCH THIS IT'S THE ENTERTAINING PART OF THE POST:

HARRIET

This post probably should have been my first... before Katy Perry even (I know I can't believe I just said that either) but it is most important that I tell you about one of the most breathtakingly incredible human beings you will ever meet in your life. Her name is Harriet Scriven and she has been my best friend since like year 5 and sometimes I wonder how I ever functioned without her.

She is legitimately a goddess... Incredibly beautiful, smart, funny, lovely and all round amazing human being. It kind of sucks being around her though because then you have to be compared with her and trust me, that's never fun... being compared with Jesus... it's a difficult task.

Harriet is literally good at everything (another irritatingly perfect fact about her) she is SO smart, SO good at sport AMAZINGOSDHGOS;GHU AT SINGING and everybody loves her. No effing wonder- I already told you, she's god!

A couple of rockin' facts about Harriet

• She has no middle name (we gave her one in year five- "Apple")
• Her cat is a horny little fuck
• I once dacked her in front of the entire school assembly
• Her obsessions include Darren Criss, Cody Simpson and Harry Potter
• She HATES tomato, avocado and vegemite
• She injures herself ALOT (that, we have in common)
• She gets to fly first class for free until she's like 24 or something ridiculous
• She can't roll her "r's"
• SHE NEVER BLOODY STOPS SINGING/HUMMING
• She can automatically harmonise with any song it's quite amazing
• She sucks shit at watching scary movies
• I've never known someone to be so oblivious to Hollywood/celebrities. She didn't know who Brad Pitt was!!!!
• SHE IS INCREDIBLE AT MAKEUP HOLY CHRIST

We're very different in some areas, for example she's such a goody-goody and i am definitely NOT and she always has a reaaalllyyy clean room and i often can't see my floor, she loves a lot of "alty" bands and boy bands and stuff, whereas you'll see me rockin out to Jazmine Sullivan, Monica KATY PERRY, Beyonce, Amy Winehouse- but we have an almost identical sense of humour and i love all her clothes and we love all the same movies and tv shows and we're both sporty people. I just bloody love this woman. So proud to call her my best friend.

Child At Heart

Looking back through some photos we took with the little girl I babysit and her friend, I realise how much i don't want to grow up, I was CONSTANTLY making up games with my toys, friends, sometimes just by myself and it's pretty clear how nothing has changed... It sucks that when you're young you can't wait to be grown up, but once you're expected to act mature, you realise how much youth really is a virtue not to be wasted...

The Holy Jawlines

Some people go for the bright blue eyes, others for a dashingly good smile and plenty for the good old eight pack. I'm sorry, maybe i'm retarded but to me there is nothing more beautiful in this world than a person with a strong, chiseled jawline. Boy or girl, doesn't matter i'll be frothing over anyone who has a good jaw. It's like... sometimes we'll be watching a movie and i'll miss the entire fucking thing because i've spent majority of the time staring/crying/jizzing over one person or another's jawline! It's ridiculous!

EMILY DESCHANEL IS LIKE MY LIIFFFEE OH DEAR GOD. She is Bones, on my absolute FAAAVEEE show "Bones" and I am sure to post more about her in the future but for now. DAYUM seriously check out her jawline it is magnificent.

HOLY CHRIST. Okay Kiera Knightly is a PRIME example of one of those people in movies where you miss the movie because you're too busy frothing over her facial bones. "Pride and Prejudice" ESPECIALLY and that other new one of hers "Never Let Me Go". I am usually such a cry-er in movies (i cried in fucking "Herbie Fully Loaded" with Lindsay Lohan to give you an idea). This woman has amazing bone structure in general, not only her jawline but her collar bones and cheek bones are also KILLER.

 Okay so i'm not some annoying twi-hard (anymore...) but no one can deny that Robert Pattinson has the most delectable jaw on the face of the planet. I have never wanted to touch something so bad in my life. I swear to god i could dream about it. It's bloody perfect and it makes him soooooo bloody attractive i don't care if he fucking sparkles.

He totally gets two photos his jaw is that good.

So like you know, she's one of the most beautiful people in the world, has what... six sprouter children? Her husband is such a dilf, she's rich as FUCK but hey knowing me, i'm most jealous of her jawline. Of course. It;s just beautiful. GAH.

I'm so jealous... and weird...